


acquired taste

by dozmuffinxc



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cooking, Date Night, Food Kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 15:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17164268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dozmuffinxc/pseuds/dozmuffinxc
Summary: "Taako had been planning this date night for over a month, ever since Kravitz had mentioned over dinner that he missed the impressive palate he had when he was mortal."





	acquired taste

**Author's Note:**

> _“Preparing food for one’s lover is the most intimate thing you can do for them – other than shampooing their hair.” –Charles Boyle_

Taako had been planning this date night for over a month, ever since Kravitz had mentioned over dinner that he missed the impressive palate he had when he was mortal. Since they had been together (2 years, 7 months, and 18 days, but he _definitely_ wasn’t counting), Taako had cooked hundreds of meals, and each time, Kravitz had been receptive – more than receptive, really. He always complimented Taako on his culinary feats, but Taako got the feeling that he was simply going through the motions. 

“One’s sense of taste fades over time,” Kravitz had explained gently one morning after failing to notice the clever use of turmeric in their fresh-baked muffins. “I have been a Reaper for a very long time, love. I wish it could be otherwise, but that doesn’t make you any less of a brilliant chef.”

Taako had huffed and let it go, but after Kravitz stepped through the portal to the astral realm for a day of soul-collecting, he had begun to plan. The menu was, in his not-so-humble opinion, impeccable. Even Lup had found nothing to criticize when she looked it over. In fact, she had suggested they make it a double-date so that she and Barry could get in on “that sweet, sweet grub,” but for once, Taako insisted that tonight was for him and Kravitz alone. She had been unusually magnanimous and had even sent a bottle of white wine for the occasion.

“Just don’t fill up before dessert _if you know what I mean_ ,” her note had read, followed by an honest-to-Pan winking face doodled in purple ink. Taako had rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the blush that flooded his cheeks, and he found himself suddenly very glad to be alone.

The sun was setting before everything was just right. The last dish was out of the oven and the first course was chilling in the ice box; the candles had been lit on the polished wooden table that Magnus had built for them when they moved in; and even the cats, on their best behavior for once, had stayed out from underfoot during preparations and were now sleeping around a crackling fire in the living room.

At seven o’clock on the dot, the ripping sound of a portal opening in the entrance hall nearly made Taako drop his ladle. Pausing to adjust his scarf in the hallway mirror, he pushed down the little frisson of nerves bubbling up in the pit of his stomach.

 _Pull yourself together,_ he chided his reflection. _Everything’s perfect because you’re a fucking genius. Now, let’s go wow the hell out of him._

 

******************************

 

It had been a long day of reaping, and the work might have gone on even longer had Lup not insisted that Kravitz pack it in and get home _immediately_. The Raven Queen, she assured him, had given her approval for an early night, and it was imperative that he “clock the fuck out, Bone Daddy.” Barry merely shrugged, but there was something mischievous about the wink he threw over Lup’s shoulder as the pair sheathed their scythes and climbed through a portal of their own.

As Kravitz passed through the planes and directed his mind towards home, he felt an unexpected flutter in his chest. The concept of going _home_ never ceased to amaze him, nor did the certainty that there would be a brilliant, witty, handsome elf waiting there when he arrived. As he stepped through the portal into their cozy entrance hall with its shaded lamps and its plush rug, he ran a hand over his locs and brushed his palm across his mouth just to be safe – and sure enough, his lips were warm. The realization made him smile.

“Just like Death to keep a guy waiting,” Taako said as he sauntered through the doorway at the end of the hall.

Any witty rejoinder Kravitz might have made was lost at the sight of Taako leaning against the doorframe, one hand on his hip and the other holding a glass of wine aloft. If Kravitz still needed to breathe, he would have been hard-pressed to remind himself to do so when faced with the vision of his partner’s low-cut pearl blouse, his lean frame hugged in exactly the right places by a pair of tight black pants, and the dangerously high-heeled boots that he only wore on special occasions. 

“You like?” Taako purred, tugging at the teal scarf tied loosely around his neck. Kravitz knew that scarf: they had bought it together on a recent shopping trip in Neverwinter, and then as now, he was struck by how perfectly it complimented the striking azure of Taako’s eyes.

“What do you think?” Kravitz replied, discarding his cloak in one fluid motion and closing the distance between them in a matter of seconds. His hands were on Taako’s hips before the elf could blink, and there was a moment before their mouths met where he wondered whether someone’s smell could actually be an intoxicant.

“Slow down, stud,” Taako laughed, his finger snaking up to press against Kravitz’s lips. “You’ll ruin your appetite. I didn’t cook all day for nothing, _ketzelah_.”

With that, Taako tossed his braid over his shoulder and set off down the hall towards the kitchen. 

“It smells wonderful,” Kravitz said, trailing a few steps behind.

“Duh,” Taako replied, but Kravitz caught the little smile that betrayed the pride behind his flippant rejoinder.

Kravitz paused on the threshold to take in the sight of the kitchen. The room had been made up like a miniature restaurant with a crisp linen cloth on the table topped by a set of candlesticks, covered dishes at intervals across the surface, and at the center of the table, two place settings had been laid out side-by-side.

“This is incredible, Taako.”

“Yes, yes, I know I am,” Taako said, waving his hand dismissively and then gesturing to the two waiting chairs, “but wait until you try the _food_!” 

Kravitz chuckled as he took his place at the table and folded his napkin delicately on his lap. The item lying next to his place setting, however, gave him pause.

“I thought we would make this interesting,” Taako said in reply to the question in Kravitz’s quizzical look. Reaching across the table, he picked up the blindfold and snapped it dramatically with a flourish that nearly overturned both of their wine glasses.

“What are you—” Kravitz said as Taako stood behind him and tied the cloth into place.

“Trust me,” Taako hummed in his ear, and Kravitz felt that now-familiar flutter stirring in chest once more.

 

******************************

 

The first course was a cold soup that Taako insisted Kravitz sip like a fine wine. 

“Tell me what you’re tasting,” Taako encouraged, and although he couldn’t see him, Kravitz knew that Taako was sitting on the edge of his seat with his elbows on the table, leaning towards him expectantly.

Kravitz hesitated.

“It’s… creamy,” he said, and when he received no response, he pressed on. “But there’s something tangy there, too. And it tastes like… oh, Taako, you know I’m terrible at this. I’m sorry, love.”

“Don’t apologize,” Taako said, scooping up another spoonful. “Take your time. Talk me through the dish. You can do it.”

As he accepted the next bite, Kravitz rooted through his memory for anything that would help him identify the components of the soup. There were so many flavors vying for attention, and it hardly seemed fair that Taako expected him to be able to identify them all, but – and then an image of a bright summer’s day kneeling in the garden while Taako basked in the sun on the porch and read aloud from his latest cookbook flashed across his mind.

“Cucumber,” he breathed, and sure enough, as soon as he named it the flavor leaped out at him with surprising clarity, light and cool on his tongue.

“Very good,” Taako said, clearly pleased, and Kravitz smiled. “And the herbs?”

Kravitz considered.

“Dill, for sure,” he said, and Taako hummed his approval. “And there’s… parsley from the garden, and something bittersweet that I can’t place, almost like liquorice.”

“Tarragon,” Taako replied, and Kravitz could hear the quiet clatter of the spoon falling back into the bowl. “You get one freebie, but only because you’re so pretty. Now open up – you’re ready for round two.”

Kravitz barely had time to swallow his last spoonful of soup before a piece of crisp, flat bread slid between his teeth. As he bit down, there was an audible crunch, and the tickle of crumbs on his chin made him self-consciously grasp for his napkin. Before he could dab them away, however, he felt the soft brush of Taako’s thumb at his mouth and he froze, leaning infinitesimally into the sensation of smooth skin sweeping across his lips.

“Now,” Taako said, leaning back in his chair much to Kravitz’s chagrin, “what do you taste?”

As he chewed, Kravitz was reminded of another evening spent at this very table. Merle had come to visit, and as he always did when the cleric popped by for a meal, Taako had thrown together an impressive salad to satisfy his friend’s vegetarian palate. Merle had complimented Taako on his homemade dressing, and Taako had graciously sent him home with a bottle.

“Balsamic vinegar,” Kravitz said confidently.

“Very good,” Taako replied, his voice bright. “See? You’re a natural. Now go on, genius: what else?”

Unwilling to disappoint, Kravitz considered his next bite and was delighted to discover that this taste, too, was familiar.

“Strawberries,” he grinned as an image of the cake Taako had prepared for Angus’ last birthday, a light confection topped with a crown of the bright red fruit, popped into his head. “And goat cheese,” he added.

“All right, hot shot,” Taako said, “brace yourself. You don’t get any dessert unless you can tell me what’s in this last dish.” 

Kravitz could hear Taako remove the heavy lid from the largest of the four dishes. Heat radiated from the forkful that Taako lifted to his mouth, and the moment it passed his lips, Kravitz was very nearly overcome by a wave of emotion that transformed the fluttering in his chest into a tempest and brought tears to his eyes which, he was grateful to note, were still securely covered by the blindfold.

“Green peppers,” he said immediately, a slight catch in his voice. “Garlic, cumin, and tomatoes.”

There was a moment of stunned silence. Kravitz felt Taako’s hands on either side of his head as he removed the blindfold and stared incredulously into Kravitz’s eyes.

“Babe, that was – that was incredible!” he exclaimed, incredulous. “But how did you pick up on that so fast? You told me your taste buds were basically _kaputz_!”

“That,” Kravitz said, cupping Taako’s cheek in his hand, “is because I will never, until my final day, forget what you tasted like after you freed me from the astral plane on the Day of Story and Song. When you kissed me, you gave me back my hope for a future, and I knew that I would never, ever let you go again. And then you told me about what happened with Joaquin, and I knew I had tasted that taco, too, but to me, it was more: it was fire, and passion, and resilience, and resolution. I never wanted to stop tasting it, so I found the recipe that you wrote down afterwards, and I copied it onto my heart.”

As he spoke, Kravitz watched as Taako’s eyes filled with tears that he tried in vain to swipe away before they smudged his mascara.

“It’s crazy how much you flirt with me,” Taako laughed, his voice cracking slightly. “Seriously, babe, it’s really embarrassing, no wonder you—"

Whatever he was about to say was swallowed up by Kravitz’s mouth on his, hungry and fervent, and the feeling of strong, calloused fingers on his back and in his hair, pulling him into a greedy embrace from which he was positive he never wanted to be freed.

The next few minutes were a delicious blur of hard kisses and grasping hands. Taako abandoned his chair and hopped onto Kravitz’s lap where he was rewarded with a growl of pleasure that sent a delightful tingling sensation down his spine. 

“Why are you always so perfectly dressed,” he groaned, raking his fingers down Kravitz chest as he attempted to undo the reaper’s shirt and discovered that there were just too many buttons to be getting on with. He would have ripped the silly thing off, ascot and all, but Kravitz had other ideas. In one fluid motion, he grasped Taako by the waist and hoisted him onto the table where he began to press a series of light kisses across his collarbone. Taako moaned weakly, throwing his hands behind his back to brace himself on the tabletop and sending the tureen of cucumber soup flying onto the floor with a crash.

“I’m so sorry,” Kravitz gasped, but when he tried to pull away, Taako grabbed him by the collar of his dress shirt.

“Don’t you _dare_ ,” he hissed, his fingers already at work on the buttons of Kravitz’s trousers. 

Eyes flashing crimson, Kravitz leaned in and grabbed Taako’s bottom lip with his teeth, pressing down just a little harder than necessary and then probing the spot with his tongue. Taako whimpered and would have sunk back onto the table and surrendered himself completely, but at that very moment, a horrible thought crept into his mind that made him gasp out loud.

“Oh my gods, _stop_ ,” he shrieked, pressing frantically against Kravitz’s chest with both hands.

“Wh—Taako, what’s wrong?” Kravitz said, one hand reaching instinctively for his scythe.

Taako’s eyes widened to twice their normal size as he whispered, “We can’t _have sex_ on this table.”

“Why ever not?” Kravitz said, his brows knitted in confusion.

“Because,” Taako hissed, using Kravitz’s shoulders to hoist himself up and onto the floor, “Magnus made this table!”

Kravitz blinked.

“So, it’s sufficiently sturdy,” he replied slowly. “I don’t follow.”

Taako groaned and cast a sideways glance at the offending piece of furniture.

“No way,” he said. “Nuh-uh. No go, amigo. If we do it on that table, he’ll know, and I swear, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“That’s insane,” Kravitz smiled, hooking his arm around Taako’s waist and pressing gently on the small of his back until their chests were touching and his face was inches from the elf’s. “ _You’re_ insane. But look, if you’re so worried, I think we might just make it to the—"

Taako never found out where they might make it to, because when Kravitz took a step towards the kitchen door, they both found the world turning on its head and a moment later, Kravitz was sprawled out on the floor with a winded Taako on top of him and a puddle of cold cucumber soup seeping into the cloth of his vest. They lay there in stunned silence for a few seconds until Taako reached up to swipe a splash of soup from Kravitz’s cheek with his finger and then proceeded to lick the offending dollop thoughtfully.

“Is it too late to add more salt?” he asked, and the answering laughter that rumbled from deep down in Kravitz’s gut reverberated into his own belly until he rolled off and collapsed onto the floor at his side in a fit of high-pitched cackles. 

 

*****************************

 

When they finally pulled themselves off the floor, Taako grabbed Kravitz’s hand and led him to the bathroom where he used a quick spell to fill the giant claw-footed bathtub with hot water and rose-scented bubbles and instructed Kravitz to get in. Pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, Taako swept out of the room, leaving Kravitz to discard his soiled clothes in the hamper and ease into the fragrant water with a sigh of pleasure.

Taako returned a few minutes later with two glasses of wine expertly balanced in one hand and a plate of light purple macarons in the other.

“I couldn’t let you miss dessert,” he said, setting the plate and glasses down on the edge of the bathtub.

“And here I am thinking we had already had it,” Kravitz grinned.

Taako attempted to hide the blush this elicited in the folds of his shirt as he pulled the stained garment over his head, stepped out of his boots and pants, and eased into the bathtub where he promptly sank beneath the bubbles up to his nose and refused to surface until Kravitz threatened to drop his glass of wine into the perfumed water.

“Taako,” he said, reaching across the tub and finding his partner’s hand amidst the bubbles. “Tonight was perfect. You are a wonder, and I am so grateful that you’ve chosen to share your gifts with me. I love you,” he said, and he planted a kiss on the tips of Taako’s dripping fingers.

“Yeah, well, I love you, too,” Taako replied, a crooked grin spread across his face, “ _obviously_.”

As expected, the macarons were perfect, and when each one had been savored and their quality sufficiently lauded, Kravitz summoned the shampoo bottle and sent Taako into paroxysms of delight as he massaged the contents into his hair. Even after all of the suds had been washed away, Kravitz continued to rub little circles into Taako’s scalp until the elf sank back against his chest with a contented sigh that sounded suspiciously like a purr.

Kravitz leaned back, Taako’s weight comfortably warm in his arms. Closing his eyes, he sent up a silent prayer of thanks to the Raven Queen and to a certain jeans-clad colleague whose tip concerning elves and their weakness for head massages had earned him Kravitz’s eternal gratitude.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Ketzelah_ is Yiddish for “kitten” and _kaputz_ is basically “done” or “finished.” I’m absolutely here for Taako’s little Yiddish terms of endearment, and you can’t stop me. 
> 
> Aaaaaaand just in case anyone’s interested in trying out Taako’s date night menu, these are the recipes that I referenced while writing this fic. 
> 
> Cold cucumber soup with yogurt and dill: https://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/cold-cucumber-soup-with-yogurt-and-dill 
> 
> Strawberry goat cheese bruschetta: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/228048/strawberry-goat-cheese-bruschetta/
> 
> Stuffed poblanos: https://www.marthastewart.com/337177/stuffed-poblanos 
> 
> Elderflower macarons: https://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/elderflower-french-macarons 
> 
> I realize that I took liberties with the culinary aspects of this story. Many of the ingredients and some of the dishes themselves wouldn’t exist in this universe, but if Taako can canonically make a damn taco in a magical food truck in the middle of the apocalypse, I think I’m justified in introducing poblano peppers and bruschetta into this fic.


End file.
